Hello, this is me.

Hello world.
I decided to create this blog because I always have too much on my mind and thought it might be a good idea to get some of that nonsense out every once in a while... Vent, if you will. The title came from a jazz song i played earlier this year. I think it sums up what I believe this blog will consist of... basically blues.
So I guess this is the part where I say a little about myself. My name is Toni Hoffmann. I'm 19 years old and a student at the University of Northern Iowa studying instrumental music education. I'm a trumpet player and I love jazz. I study with some of the best musicians and professors in the country at UNI and have also met some of the most amazing friends I could ask for, including my favorite bitch, Caroline Hlohowskyj. In some ways, you could say I'm your typical college gal... I like to hang with my friends and party it up on the weekends (which start on Thursday). I average about 4 hours of sleep a night, and I curse like a sailor. I'm kind of crazy and loud and always enjoy a good laugh. Oh... and I have a "slight" obsession with owls.  :)
I also have some personality traits which are, let's say, under construction. I'm an impatient perfectionist who significantly over-analyzes everything. I can be a giant bitch sometimes, especially when I'm on my period. I hate disappointing people, but I feel like I do that a lot. I am always concerned with what others think of me. I worry about the future so much that I often neglect the present. And I cry... a lot.
^Most of that stuff applies to my musical life. Music brings out the best in me, but sometimes I fear that it also brings out the worst. I have never second-guessed my ambition to pursue music and whole-heartedly know that I am in the right field of study and on the perfect track to my desired future as a music educator. My problem is that I don't have the patience for my trumpet-playing abilities to develop. I need to quit comparing myself to everyone else and just let my progress continue to develop. (Easier said than done, right?) 
Anywho... I'm working on admiring my abilities as they are. It's like this passage from one of my favorite books, The Inner Game of Tennis (Read it if you haven't). The passage compares skill development to a blossoming rose and talks about how when you see an underdeveloped rose bud, you don't look at it in disgust. You admire it for its present beauty and accept it at all levels of its journey towards becoming a brilliant flower. That's how I'm trying to look at my trumpet playing journey. (Once again, easier said than done. - Ugghhhh story of my frickin' life.)
Ok, well that should do it for tonight. A little glimpse into the insanity that is my mind. Turns out that I titled this blog pretty accurately. Yay? I also wanted to mention that the title of this first blog post is a reference to the greatest YouTube video of all time, Marcel the Shell With Shoes On. Go watch it... now.
Quote of the day: "Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier." - Colin Powell


K bye